“We are all guilty of spiritually bleaching ourselves therefore abusing ourselves in this way and my own guilt around being too afraid in the past to walk into the darkness, to meet my shadow where she resides in the place where she feels safe most.”
The spirit of the Grandmothers – Powerful, ancient, hilarious and full of timeless wisdom beyond any words, they are the healing balm that soothes us at the times when our hearts are hurting the most.
So of course, it was them coming in to speak for this first blog I write in what I feel may become quite an epic journey of digging deep into the unseen realms of my inner being.
These women who work beyond the veil of our world are a straight up clout of truth and the healers from our ancestral lines from a time long before kingdoms and wars and the slow process of filing down humanity to its current state – these women are our great, great, great, greatest, grandparents, they hold the invaluable knowledge of a time of balance, right relationship and fullness, a time that has vanished into myth.
So this beloved ancestor of mine steps forward from this group of Grandmothers chittering away and the room suddenly goes dead silent…
She placed her gentle sweet hand on my knee and looked straight up into me and in a forthright manner said “Everyone wants to talk about full moon updates and full moon ceremonies and what do I want to bring in for the full moon!” While suddenly. waving her arms in the air; “But what you all have clearly forgotten is that those things we bring to the fullest part of the moon come from the darkest, the more uncomfortable parts of our being that you may prefer wasn’t there to be looked at.”
“No-one wants to talk about the dark moon and the gifts that await us there – where’s the ceremony for that! This is where we entice these parts of ourselves in the shadows to begin to make them selves known, this is where we dance, this is where we use our voices, we become creative, we look at ourselves not with fear, but with compassion and we allow this voice hidden away to be heard.”
Feeling a little bewildered but knowing it was true I kept paying attention – I was then shown us desperately and almost violently dragging these shadows out of the dark then cornering and blasting these parts of our selves in an intense amount of light when all it really wants to do is express its self in the sanctuary of the darkness.
Watching this made me feel uncomfortable, it was painful to watch, I think not just because it rings true for many of us who are willing to see it; but the amount of times on my spiritual path I can account seeing this practised time and time again is actually quite shocking to me now – Light workers, Shamans, Buddhists, Christians, Reiki masters, yogis, those who work with galactic beings… we are all guilty of abusing ourselves in this way and my own guilt around being too afraid in the past to walk into the dark, to meet my shadow in the place where she feels most safe.
While sitting here feeling the pain of what may have been lost I ask; why we have run like this?
I saw humans at the first moments of their spiritual awakening seeing the light for the first time.
I see them standing there stunned like deer caught in head lights and then suddenly in a panic start rushing pack their bags as fast as they can and running towards this light like a wounded child would their Mother after falling and scrapping their knee.
This trauma based response of running to whom we’ve been severed from for so long suddenly comes of no surprise to me and my discomfort towards those consistently trying to bleach the spiritual experience becomes less of an annoyance and more of a feeling of compassion and understanding which now takes its place.
The period of being soothed by the mother bathing in her light serves us well, during this early stage of our awakening it is actually a necessary time to build a foundation of spiritual connection and to know who our friends are in these realms. But once we have built this foundation and we understand how to manage our light it is then time as spiritual grown ups to pull up our britches and with a little bravery start the gentle process into the dark ready to meet ourselves in this new way.
The Grandmothers have made it clear, it is now time for us to begin to honour the full cycle of the moon thus moving with the in breath and out breath of Gaia. By doing this we are honouring the fullness of ourselves and full connection of everything around us.
A good way to begin honouring and creating a peaceful process with the dark is to simply light a beeswax candle for your shadow just before the dark moon and say out loud, “I honour the darkest in me and I honour the darkness in others”.
This small honouring not only hands an olive branch of peace to this part of ourselves but it also allows a more balanced and welcoming approach to our healing process.
The grandmothers say that when you start to feel the pain or discomfort of the shadow coming to the surface, to sing to her ( even if your bad at it – do it anyway ) as you connect to your heart.
This will create what’s needed for your shadow to move and give you the next step of what’s needed for her release – and as you sing listen closely, for you just may be able to hear the Grandmothers singing along with you, in love and as they support you through this time. They say that we are never alone in this place and that they are there waiting for us to come back to our first home, into the darkness of the mother womb where our deepest pains lie, for it is only then that we can fully experience the totality of life and our true ourselves in the world through the uncomfortable and the beautiful parts dancing through the earth experience with all that we are here to transcend.
With love to you all through the darkness and light together,
Leah Savage – Spirit Speaks.